Work

Today was the first day of training, and it went OK.. seems simple enough, ya know? Except that right now I’m pretty sure I’m on the hardest part lol… finding people to practice on… It is paid training, which is cool, with full paid commission even when I’m not doing the show or only doing part of it. I’m thinking it’s not too bad of a deal once I get started. It is a legit company and I made two new friends today… Can’t wait to start getting paid so I can buy new business outfits… Lord knows I need them. Have to learn how to keep track of spendings and stuff… Gas logs, client logs, food logs, clothes logs… that kind of stuff lol. Need a thing to put receipts in too… Yeah I guess I’m kinda putting a grocery list on wordpress but I guess it works, right? Ooh, I can get so much stuff… but I need to not spend.. Get the bare necessities and not get carried away… I cannot become a spender.

Thank you Lord for providing.

Job Hunting ((what a joke))

Yesterday, I applied for so many jobs on Craigslist, I lost count of how many. I have no idea what all I applied for, and how much of them are scams. I’m just trying so hard to get a job; one that I can remain loyal to for life… or for as long as I need to go back to school, finish with a good degree, and find me an actual career. I know I’ve applied for Sprint, Wal Mart, Walgreens, Petco (though the good store–and quite possibly the one I applied for–is not hiring)… Oh shoot… See, I don’t even know what stores I applied for from Monster/in person… Oh yeah… Bed Bath and Beyond… ooh I hope they call me… Wal Mart is pretty much always hiring as far as I know… I just don’t really want to work there. -_- Guess for second jobs that might as well be your first there’s not much in the choosing… Grr…

On another note, wedding things are starting to fall into place. Still waiting on a call for the trailer, but can’t move in without proof of insurance yet anyway, and won’t get THAT for another week or so. Got the rings ordered and everything, so that’s good. Gotta pay $30 a month for mine. Not bad though, considering it’s only for 3 months.

Well I guess there’s not much else to say. Love you, baby! Check ya’ll later!

Dear Readers (that don’t exist)

July 25, I will become Mrs. DeMarco. For once, I can actually say that I am 100% ready. I’m becoming emancipated through this marriage which means no more child support crap (yay!)

Speaking of emancipation, Grace University has kicked me out, and my dad wasted no time calling the Child Support people (Department of Family Services) to let them know, not even giving me a chance to find another school by fall. I have been given until October, but with no place to stay (explained later) except for with my fiance, we are getting married to become a legal married couple. Isn’t that wonderful?

So the no place to stay. My trailer was taken down by a tornado (or straight wind damage or whatever you want to call it). So now with Grace kicking me out, I don’t even have the dorms to live in. People are concerned that I won’t have any place to go, but I have convinced people that I can bounce from friend to friend.

Now I realize that I have nothing to worry about with him really wanting to marry me and all… but he has this ex that is really annoying me and beginning to hack me off. She is testing him to see if he will text back and stuff. He had dealt with temptation not long ago at her place, and she said “She doesn’t have to know” or something like that. That was the turning point of me really hating her. Now, I have never particularly liked her, but I was willing to give it a try and attempt friendship. She obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me, though she wants lots to do with him (grrrr) and has even gone so far as to tell him he should break up with me. Whatever! I’m tired of this, but I’m staying out of it… no matter how tempting it is to give her a piece of my mind. “Saying good-bye for the reasons you did is not Christian or brotherly” though I can think of two scriptures that say otherwise. As I said, I’m staying out of it.

So anyway, I am going to be Mrs DeMarco and she’s NOT! Ha ha I got him, and she didn’t

Hmm…

I’m only blogging because I am bored and like the sound of myself typing on my fiance’s computer. Sorry; can’t help it; it sounds cool!

His friend is up for another visit and I decided to keep the guy company but it’s not very much company; the only things that can be heard are outside noises, the keys clicking, and the friend strumming the guitar (just messing around I think). Now he is mumbling to himself. It’s all good; I do it too haha…

Ooh look a comment! Wow that was random. But isn’t that what blogging is? Completely random? Venting, rambling, etc. Comment is gone… had to approve it… The number has gone away now.

Wow, my blogs are not intelligent at all, are they? But boredom is not intelligent when there are things to take away the boredom, eh? *shrug*

I got beat pretty hard yesterday by Lord Morton. He and I were boffing yesterday, I took out his legs, and he hit me square on the ear. It was feeling quite interesting for a few hours, but it’s doing better now. It was ringing for a while and every time I talked it vibrated. And what I thought was my normal voice was apparently really soft to everyone else. Yay!

But I am getting better. Shad0fx had Morton make me a spear, and I wouldn’t say I dominate with it, but I’m not too bad. Morton has a staff he fights with now, and the only way I’m any good against it is with the spear. I don’t know if that’s the cowards way or what, but it works, and I conquer (well I kill quite a few times).

Anyway, I really ought to go and get to work. That basement needs to be cleaned out before May 8 (wish us luck) so I can move my stuff out of the dorms.

So What Now?

$45 w/ roomy; $60 w/out… $50 a week… those prices are weekly prices… $50 is my “allowance.” No idea what to do.

Go home? Not a chance. Too much drama, too much stress…

Go to Boston and stay on the coast that much farther from Joe for about 4 months? No going to Tennessee for the family reunion…no seeing Joe… not even once…

Can’t stay with Joe. Against the rules and far too cramped. They wouldn’t want me there for that long anyway…

Go to Mom’s in North Platte? Maybe get a job helping her and Curtis… No internet connection, so no FaceBook, WordPress, messenger, FuBar, etc… Pretty much no way to communicate with the outside world at all… I mean, decent signal, but email is so much easier nowadays.

Gothenburg? Hope to get a job at the grocery store and maybe borrow one of the vehicles to get to and from there… Maybe make a friend or two but probably would just be a loner like before… Would get awkward, but I would have internet and good cell phone signal along with privacy. Seems like my best bet honestly.

I was hoping to be a volunteer this summer, but that’s kind of one of those really funny things that will probably never happen. Stuff like that never works out anyway, and I would just disappoint the kid anyway. That’s who I am… inconsistent… unreliable…

I’m homeless at the moment. Go figure.

Needs more work

Do you see the wrath I carry out from God’s very hand?
I attack fiercly and leave you no mercy
Have you made my Father angry?
Or must you learn something to survive?

On I move to the next place
Leaving you to quake and shake
Assess your damage and then pray
That my Father has the mercy I have lacked

Flags whip around
Tall silver poles
Screaming my name
Fearing death by unravellation
And like you
I show them no mercy
Still they stand just as strong as before
For now

Still I bring you rain
To water what becomes your food
Ending long droughts and suffering
You bless the rain though never me
And wonder why I am angry
Destructive

I bring you relaxation
With gentle breath
Cool in summer heat
Drying your dripping sweat
You thank my Father
And in the next breath
Curse me
Because of dust in your eye

Feb. 02-09

Sometimes I wish I could just speak my mind.  ____ also left a comment on ____ note…

I’m tired of the drama.  They’re together, they break up, they act like they hate each other, they repeat the process…  Of course this time, the first blank is leaving hate notes for the second blank, which vanish when I actually check FaceBook.  However, they are still in my email.

“your telling everyone to love people, but what makes you an expert on the subject. do they know the truth about you and where your walk is? you told me you hate me…now that isnt loving at all.”

“Make sure that the light you think you have is not really darkness.
Then suddenly Matt’s love turned to hate, and he hated her more than he had loved her.”
Nobody is perfect, which the second blank kindly actually mentioned in his notes.  But he’s trying, and she’s holding him back.  Leaving comments like that is simply making her an instant hypocrite.  She did nothing but hurt him, and I really hope it’s over for good.  She held him back when he really wanted to move way forward for God’s glory.  I say he needs to go for it.  God to Russia like you really want to, you know?

Hey… I know how to be blunt without getting in trouble… Hmm… I’ll write a note about how people need to listen to God and how no one is perfect… Hmm….
Ciao.

Zhaniswolf.

Been A While

Hey, I know it’s been a while since I last blogged. Joe and I have set a date and a highly probable location for the wedding. I’m happy about that. My problem is trying to plan with my grandfather and everything. I have a lot of ideas in my head that look great, but geez, I’m beginning to get overwhelmed as it all plays out in my head. It’s going to be huge, which means more things can go wrong, but what’s a wedding without a bit of humor?

Started school back up a couple of days ago, so I’m trying to get back into the habit of it. A couple of things need to be fixed to make it a bit easier, but you know…

Speaking of fixed, I went to the chiropractor and feel much better.

Anyway, those are just a couple of updates, so I better start checking around with my family to see if a Nebraska wedding is OK.

Bye.

The Z Wolf.

Is It The Jeep or The Man Who Drives It???

So this morning, OK midnight, Joe and I went out to find an empty parking lot to teach me how to drive a stick shift. He has this amazing Jeep Cherokee (I can’t remember the year, but she’s gettin pretty ancient) that I got to learn on. I say she’s amazing despite the rust and the lack of paint and antique parts, because she is old. She has character and beauty. She’s kinda my baby. And she did pretty well with me learning. She didn’t die on me once. She loves me.

So… is it the jeep that I love so much or the fact that not only does she have character in herself but also the fact that she spent part of her life with him? He is an amazing man and such great inspiration of faith. Yeah, the jeeps are cool; great looking vehicles; but that’s not what I love about him. Nope! It’s definitely the man who drives them and loves them almost as much as me. The jeep is one thing he cannot compromise and something I would never ask him to.

That said, please watch this video, compliments of the Shad0fx Production … person … Anyway, this is him at his finest in a video titled “Thoughts from a Man and his Jeep”

Thank you.

ZDevotions

http://zdevotions.wordpress.com

Please check this out, especially if you are Christian.

Joe and I are working on a devotional project, and I’m posting my devotions that I do on wordpress. Thanks for checking it out (if you do)