Grr… Stupid Muses Keeping Me Up Late
Nov 22-08
Two in the morning
And I can’t sleep
Poem bouncing around in my head
My eyes are closed
But my muse is still screaming
“Wake up! Get up! I need to write!”
Grr…
I have no choice
I swear someday…
I’ll just make it go to bed fifteen minutes before me
True Love…
Nov 21-08
At your feet
Expecting you to trample it
But instead
You took it and carried it
To a bed of roses
I was confused
But he set it down
I could feel stings
As thorns poked and pricked
I could feel tears in my eyes
And I wondered why
He would do this to me
Why should I have to deal with the pain
He was causing?
I wanted to pick up my heart and walk away
But something made me decide to stay
I felt a huge pain
Rip through me as a thorn made its way
Tearing through my heart
But then I felt something soft
A petal.. two petals.. three petals.. more..
Through the pain, I could feel the softness…
Ture love is like a bed of roses
It seems perfect until you get real close
Then you start feeling those thorns
And pain seems to be all you know
But the petals are still there
And they are still soft
Those petals are still soft
I’m Not That Flexible
Nov 21-08
This way and that way and always
As long as they are your ways…
Pushing me down until my back breaks
And I’m crazy to stay
You promise me forever
But I’m not that flexible
I just can’t handle forever
I’m failing all my classes, the rules are strict and make like no sense (I haven’t been affected by this, but a good friend was), finals are coming up, and I know I’m going to fail those miserably, it’s causing a lot of stress…
Yeah, college has taken a lot out of me. I can’t even think straight. I slept 5 hours last night. Why? Because I wanted to get my homework done. You know what?? It’s STILL not even started, because I can’t find a damn thing on it! And it should be easy to find information on. Nope! Found nothing! So, I skipped class today, to postpone me having to tell the teacher that I didn’t have the assignment. 15 sources for a bibliography… and I had not a single one.
I’m just overwhelmed with it all, and I don’t know if I can do it. I can never remember my assignments, and I’m great for having random things disappear when I need them the most. Yeah, my Theology of Church & Mission binder is gone. It shouldn’t be. Things will reappear when I no longer need them.
I’m thinking about just quitting and going to work full time. I’d make more money that way. That, and the stupid child support would end, and I wouldn’t have to deal with that crap anymore. Yeah, my family would be pissed, but who cares? This is MY life, people!
And with the talents I have… I could get myself out there. I could even become an actress if I really set my mind to it. It all starts with YouTube. YouTube and auditions. And with my writing abilities, I could make it, too. If I drop out, I have more time to write those stories I’ve been working on. Will they make it? I don’t know. But it’s worth a try.
Finances would be better, too, would they not? No more having to pay for college and books and stuff. I could go back to school later on… maybe online (which is really what I want to do).
School is just taking a lot out of me. I don’t really feel like it’s for me. What do I need a biblical major for, anyway? I’m not going to use it.
And I got to thinking about teaching. I can’t make kids settle down; they don’t respect me, and they never will. My anger would flare, and I’d get fired.
I guess I have a lot to think about… Because I really am going to weigh the pros and cons of this. Yes, I am thinking about this seriously and logically. It started with emotions, but… I’m going to think logically now.
And Satan, back off.
No Reason
Nov 05-08
You have no reason to stand beside me
Strong as an ox
Yet you do…
You have no reason
To hold me when I am weak
Yet you do…
I never asked that you
Take on my burdens as your own
Yet you do…
Thank you, love
For all
That you do…
The Z Wolf.
I’m falling in love over and over again not only with Joe but with myself and with God… Life isn’t going too bad right now.
Conversation is the key… I know this, yet I can’t seem to converse what I wish to converse half the time… Just don’t know how to say things half the time… I hate that.
Had a “date” with a friend of mine. Went walking around Old Market here in Omaha. It was a lot of fun. I only spent money on candy and root beer haha. We talked the whole time, and it was wonderful conversation. We both had a good time. Ended up at a coffee shop and chatted for probably an hour. Like I said, it was a lot of fun. My first impression of her had been a bit bad, but now that I know her, she’s pretty cool.
Is it bad that I’m only blogging because AllPoetry isn’t working??? It’s kinda killing me. I’m listening to music wishing my poetry site worked. Once again, I’m addicted to it. I’ve been writing more and more, and enjoying every bit of it.
Well, I should probably be off. Bye.
The Z Wolf.
