Hmm…

I’m only blogging because I am bored and like the sound of myself typing on my fiance’s computer. Sorry; can’t help it; it sounds cool!

His friend is up for another visit and I decided to keep the guy company but it’s not very much company; the only things that can be heard are outside noises, the keys clicking, and the friend strumming the guitar (just messing around I think). Now he is mumbling to himself. It’s all good; I do it too haha…

Ooh look a comment! Wow that was random. But isn’t that what blogging is? Completely random? Venting, rambling, etc. Comment is gone… had to approve it… The number has gone away now.

Wow, my blogs are not intelligent at all, are they? But boredom is not intelligent when there are things to take away the boredom, eh? *shrug*

I got beat pretty hard yesterday by Lord Morton. He and I were boffing yesterday, I took out his legs, and he hit me square on the ear. It was feeling quite interesting for a few hours, but it’s doing better now. It was ringing for a while and every time I talked it vibrated. And what I thought was my normal voice was apparently really soft to everyone else. Yay!

But I am getting better. Shad0fx had Morton make me a spear, and I wouldn’t say I dominate with it, but I’m not too bad. Morton has a staff he fights with now, and the only way I’m any good against it is with the spear. I don’t know if that’s the cowards way or what, but it works, and I conquer (well I kill quite a few times).

Anyway, I really ought to go and get to work. That basement needs to be cleaned out before May 8 (wish us luck) so I can move my stuff out of the dorms.

So What Now?

$45 w/ roomy; $60 w/out… $50 a week… those prices are weekly prices… $50 is my “allowance.” No idea what to do.

Go home? Not a chance. Too much drama, too much stress…

Go to Boston and stay on the coast that much farther from Joe for about 4 months? No going to Tennessee for the family reunion…no seeing Joe… not even once…

Can’t stay with Joe. Against the rules and far too cramped. They wouldn’t want me there for that long anyway…

Go to Mom’s in North Platte? Maybe get a job helping her and Curtis… No internet connection, so no FaceBook, WordPress, messenger, FuBar, etc… Pretty much no way to communicate with the outside world at all… I mean, decent signal, but email is so much easier nowadays.

Gothenburg? Hope to get a job at the grocery store and maybe borrow one of the vehicles to get to and from there… Maybe make a friend or two but probably would just be a loner like before… Would get awkward, but I would have internet and good cell phone signal along with privacy. Seems like my best bet honestly.

I was hoping to be a volunteer this summer, but that’s kind of one of those really funny things that will probably never happen. Stuff like that never works out anyway, and I would just disappoint the kid anyway. That’s who I am… inconsistent… unreliable…

I’m homeless at the moment. Go figure.

Needs more work

Do you see the wrath I carry out from God’s very hand?
I attack fiercly and leave you no mercy
Have you made my Father angry?
Or must you learn something to survive?

On I move to the next place
Leaving you to quake and shake
Assess your damage and then pray
That my Father has the mercy I have lacked

Flags whip around
Tall silver poles
Screaming my name
Fearing death by unravellation
And like you
I show them no mercy
Still they stand just as strong as before
For now

Still I bring you rain
To water what becomes your food
Ending long droughts and suffering
You bless the rain though never me
And wonder why I am angry
Destructive

I bring you relaxation
With gentle breath
Cool in summer heat
Drying your dripping sweat
You thank my Father
And in the next breath
Curse me
Because of dust in your eye